The mother of all beauty pageants was held in Nha Trang, Vietnam this year. Home of VinPearl, my favorite place on earth. Though the Miss Universe committee was trying to emphasis diversity by choosing the South East Asian coastal country, they fell flat when they chose Jerry Springer and washup Scary Spice, Melanie Brown to host the event. First, I did not even recognize Scary Spice from her Spice World days. I thought she was some super tan judge from another reality show competition. Wait, doesn't another spice chica do that? right, Ginger! Second, Jerry Springer, the host of a trashy talk show, did not fit in with the world-class feel of the venue. If they were aiming for hosts that would be universally recognized, they could've picked much more cultured and grounded people..
Don't get me wrong, the whole event wasn't a flop, just when Miss USA slipped and fell on the steps of a staged pagoda in the evening gown portion. Gracefully, she got back up and signaled the audience to clap. You go Miss USA.
As for the ladies, over half of the finalists were from a Spanish speaking country. My faves? Mexico, Venezuela, and Dominican Republican. Sorry Columbia. but the underdog i was rooting for? KOSOVO. She is truly the rebirth of Angelina Jolie. Surprisingly, Ms. Vietnam made it the top 15. uuh doesn't that look a little fishy. Can you smell the Nouc Mam? Though, I love the Viet representation. yay Viet chicks.
Unlike, the hosts, the five final girls were very respectful of their host country, saying Xin Chao Vietnam before answering in the Q&A section. Mexico had the best annunciation and tone. Did Jerry or Mel do the same? Yes they did! At the end, when Venezuela was crowned, their send off was a loud and strong XIN CHAO Vietnam! Let me put this into perspective for you Americans. Jerry and Mel B saying Xin Chao Vietnam is like Donnie and Marie Osmond at the end of a Miss America pageant saying HELLO USA when the curtains are about to go down on the show.
So, do I have any positive comments. Yes. After each commercial break, my pal Jerry would advertise different tourist destinations throughout my beautiful country, from Sapa to Hue to Saigon, except they called it Ho Chi Minh city. (ugh) Hopefully, since the program was broad casted worldwide, the little tidbits would put this once worn torn country on the map and bring in the Dongs in tourism to stifle the 25% + inflation rate. But then again, such a future would compromise the pristince landmarks that are already falling victims to rising resorts and asphalt highways. That's a conversation for another time though.
-Cynical Exile
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